killed a man, almost

I possibly killed a man today.

So, I'm watching my boss hand his client a box of papers. The box had obviously come from the client's home, because it had dog hair all over it. And I'm pretty sure we don't have a dog in the office. Well, at least we don't most of the time.

I thought it would be polite to pull the largest chunk of dog fuzz off the top of the box, because that's just gross. But I didn't feel hungry after that for about 3 hours, so I kind of regret that decision.

Anyways, the client takes the box and then proceeds to start up another conversation with the boss man--who is very hungry by now, I'm sure, but is still keeping up an appearance of niceness. I don't know how he does that.-- and then.... a spider crawls out of a hole at the bottom of the box, up the side, and around the front of the box! A spider! And it's not the teensy kind, either.

I'm watching this thinking I should tell him I should really tell him Oh yes I need to tell him. 

But instead I do nothing. And for this, I am ashamed.

Really I did nothing about this because I'm a spider-chicken. (Just to clarify, that's someone who is afraid of spiders--not to be confused with a chicken-spider, which is the direct offspring of a chicken and a spider--total opposites.) But it's also a little bit because that box was dirty. And I blamed that man for that box being dirty. And now I feel terrible. Obviously the spider came from our office. I mean, dog hair can survive migration and then several months in a box, but I don't suppose a spider could. But in my mind the dog hair and the spider came from the same place, so they should both go back to where they came from.

And I suppose the spider is now somewhere in the back seat of their car waiting for a hand to bite.

So now I just have to sit here and think about what I've done and hope that I don't hear anything about one of our clients dying of a spider bite. Because it will be my fault. Or at least I will have to wonder for the rest of my life if it was my fault. And then if it truly is, I will have to flee the country. And my husband can't even come with me, because he has exams for the next 2 weeks.

Holy cow. My life is a mass of internal struggles. I think I will eat some mini churros and pray a little and probably plan out the escape route to Mexico (Canada's too cold) that I may or may not have to use and the letter of heartfelt regret that I may or may not have to send.

Also...

This is what I wanted to be eating for lunch today. Texas BBQ sandwich, a ripe summer peach, & a cold DC. But we can't always get what we want, I guess. Good thing too, because if we could, I'd be 500 lbs right now and would many servants to fan my many chins.

Yeah, don't think about it.