2/20---giveth and taketh away

Publish Post

{Skirt- the Sister Missionary Mall, srsly; Polka-dot Blouse- thrifted; Blazer- thrifted; Necklace- most likely from Target long ago; Watch- Fossil; Bracelet- AEO; Shoes- Kohl's}

You know how when you are little your mom tells you that if you throw a treasure into the ocean, the ocean will give you a treasure in return? (And by your mom, I mean mine.) And you know how you always believed that, and you maybe still do? (And by you I mean me.) Well, she was right. And we are right for believing that. Because it's true. Metaphorically speaking (so don't go throwing your wedding ring into the ocean hoping a bigger one will come back, because it doesn't work that way. Either a fish will eat it and then poop it out, and then who wants it anyways? Or a sweaty guy in a very plaid shirt & little-to-no shorts on will find it with a metal detector in 1984. In which case, he deserved it.)

Back to metaphorical treasures.

Last night, after consuming large quantities of brownie batter, the I-regret-that-decision-stomach-ache that followed, and completing my weekly painting-of-nails-whilst-Huluing ritual, it dawned on me that I had felt pretty crappy all day. I felt like the entire day was spent creating a giant rubber band ball of sadness-- each part of my day adding another band of sadness to twist around the bouncy ball in the middle that was my tiny sad-soul. I won't bore to with the details. I will simply say-- Rubber band balls are awesome. Rubber band balls of sadness are not.

 It was after this sad realization that I had a rather lovely epiphany. This is where you find out why I started talking about the ocean stuff to begin with. I realized that I had put nothing into the world that day. I had not said a prayer; I had not read any scriptural goodness; I had not accomplished any major goals; I had not [fill in the blank, and you will inevitably be right].

I had not thrown a treasure into the ocean. So I could not expect to get one back. In all fairness, I did start to try once. I determined on my way home from work to be the most awesome wife-friend ever for my med-school-husband. But I took back my treasure at the first sign of choppy water. I did happen to make some really kick-bottom (yep--that just happened) Smoked Salmon Penne Pasta with Cream Sauce. Ummm, yeah, those are some leftovers I am indeed looking forward to! But apart from that, I took my treasures and hid them from God yesterday.

And so I was left with brownie batter, a stomach ache, and stinky nail polish. And those were not the "treasures" I generally hope for.

And so today, and tomorrow, and the day after that--- I am determined to throw some treasures out to the world. I will throw them with as much love and hope and courage I can muster. And I know I will get some treasures back. 

The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away. It's up to me to decide what to do with what He gives, I suppose. And it's up to me to decide what to do about what He has to take away.
Hopefully it's a rubber band of sadness. Know what I mean?

Happy Wednesday.